Many, many journal entries contributed to what this piece eventually became. I wanted to create something that really spoke about who we are underneath the walls and the armor we cover ourselves in. This is the first “self portrait” That I’ve done in nearly 10 years. I’m not a huge fan of drawing myself, so this was a weird call to make. But in the spirit of the transformation that I’ve been undergoing and the quest I’ll always be on, it seemed appropriate.

I think that allowing yourself to be vulnerable is the most courageous and sexy thing there is. To will yourself beyond the safeguards that have been carefully orchestrated and positioned over the course of years.

It’s something that I think we, as a people, deeply fear. We let fear rule us. Fear of being hurt, fear of reliving the past, fear of an uncertain future. But when you cover yourself in an impenetrable hull, what can you truly feel? What can actually get close enough to you to make an impact of any measure?

I, myself, have lived many years beneath emotional force fields. And in doing so, I’ve watched moments pass me by. Burying myself in things that, in the end, mean what? When the world caves in and the light begins to dim, what will matter more? That I had a career and served a purpose? Or that I took a risk and sought out happiness? There’s nothing saying it can’t be both of those things. But what rings loudest in me of late is simply that happiness is worth taking that risk for. Worth shedding the armor we’ve accumulated to reveal who we are truly instead of who we are when we’re guarded.
[quote]I felt the Lord begin to peel off all my skin and I felt the weight within reveal the bigger mess that you can’t fix[/quote] This piece will serve as encouragement to me, and maybe to you too, to let go of that caution that keeps us so unaffected and bulletproof. That true connections are made when the fear can be put aside and the courage found to move forward, dive off that cliff, and grab hold of what’s on the other side.

MUSIC:
Falling up – Summer Song
Thrice – Burn the Fleet
Thrice – Flags of Dawn
Pelican – What We’ve All Come to Need
Forever Changed – The Need to Feel Alive
Copeland – When Finally Set Free
The Dear Hunter – The Love
MxPx – It’s Undeniable
Brand New – Mix Tape
Circa Survive – On Letting Go
Manchester Orchestra – Shake It Out

Also inspired by the works of C.S. Lewis, most notably “The Voyage of the Dawntreader.”

whoweareinstead